God loves us, I know this to be true. Not making immediate sense and immensely rejected by all but ever-shrinking tiny minority – I'm called to take personal responsibility for.

Acts of irresponsibility in my actions have me grieving, if considering them but God persists (with me) and must reject reminiscing sins.

'God loves' can seem hard to explain, and those suffering, but depends – on what God is responsible for?

One reason there's human life is because although God thought twice about continuing – after making the beginnings out of..? – made a commitment, to fulfill what's necessary, for this life to be redeemable. Said, 'let there be life' and when the battles unseen went the way they did, made the decision to carry on. To re-commit.

The one in three became one of us. Our opportunity and means to re-engage. Unknowingly or those claiming direct knowledge and connection; when doing good, fighting for justice, in loving kindness and truth – is through Christ. And his death. For...

Freely finding expression and life in hope that; good will overcome evil, love over hate. God manifest. This is the foundation of God's intentions.

The next life isn't the work at hand, the battle for life here/now, is. God sees sickness and suffering as abhorrent and is not the source. Healing and deliverance is God's only mandate.

Involvement is the question. The qualm. Who is driving what and why?

There are many situations that challenge the God/loves view. People preferring not to be have been born, or believe others would be better off without existing. “Where the loving God?”, the cry of conviction to 'why not believe'.

Looking back over what I've written is extraordinarily tiresome. Sludging, slodge – like reading through treacle. Nevertheless, writing with no/low expectations I’m read is liberating. A means to accompany mornings and prayer. For God… And if I gave a passing thought; anti, anti-Christ, forces. Typing to war.

Somewhere I wrote what God – I'm sure – a) is, b) might be, and c) finally, most def. ain't. Can't find but found http://www.plantaseed.org.uk/sign which relates-ish to today's reading, 'Obadiah'.

Must cut down so-many words. And have something/some – one – thing to say? Maybe stomach forcing myself to re-look at one previous and quote.

ONE thing: 'Judgement is what we need. Now. Sooner than later. Judgement in this life is redemptive, buying time and space. Repentance, a change of mind, the preferred outcome.'

'Preferred' an understatement. Passion as in the cross, the depths.

That God is 'in' suffering – suffering, not God-caused but bringing every possible outcome for good out-of. Not at all what God wants in the first place but in zillions of persistent actions to mend and make good.

Be blessed if you're reading this. Be blessed means receive from God. I need God so madly and badly. The need for God is the one advantage over opposition. Desperation leading to reception. God here.